[this is the most teenage boy thing i've ever seen
anyway she seems to be in a little bit better of a mood today. she's a bit melancholy but who isn't, in the graveyard. she's wearing this and is lacking her usual red ropes... wow...
she looks at him. she looks at the bodice rippers.]
Hello, Rin. [she is a little amused. it's a little funny, ok] What are you doing?
[ STOOOP sometimes you just love the thrill... of a trashy romance novel.
He leans casually against the bookshelf, not hiding his hands behind him because he's not stupid enough to do that, but purely to put on the air of someone who is relaxed. He is so casual right now. ]
Just checking out the book store, it wasn't here last week. [ To clarify, ] We get new locations every week too.
[ The mods are working hard...
He gives a look over, expression shifting over to concern. ]
I see. [well that makes her less likely to kill. unless gerard gets here. she won't tell him that part.] Well, I suppose that's motive enough to keep going.
he's turned his attention to other books on the shelf, but doesn't bother being anything other than honest when she asks. ]
It feels kind of weird to say, but it hasn't been that bad since Buzen and the others showed up. [ even though it meant they died ] ... But it hasn't stopped me from missing everyone else.
[ he doesn't offer specifics, knowing his team is a touchy topic. but he glances back at her. ]
So... you're not alone. It sucks being here, but at least there's people who know what you're going through.
[she gets it. it's a touchy topic, but - she really doesn't fault him for missing his team. she doesn't fault them for hurting people to get him back. she can't say she wouldn't have done the same for her own.
it's complicated, and it hurts, and she thinks she won't ever be able to sort it out because there are too many parts of her that don't fit. her friends, who hurt her, who hurt her team, who had reasons, reasons enough to sit and listen.
she exhales slowly.]
Yes. I am not alone. [she reaches to rest her hand on his arm.] I'm not angry with you. I think I should make that clear.
[ He doesn't tell her that she should be. That they were pushed into a corner because he was too weak to fight. Because he squandered every chance he had that night to turn his psych against D. Hadn't cared enough to fight for their team like they would for him.
He doesn't know if they were given an ultimatum, or if they stepped up after seeing their rank. That question too, he keeps to himself.
Instead, he accepts her kindness, putting a hand over hers. ]
It could have easily been Gerard. [she just says it bluntly.] When we agreed to fight, I told him that I would not hold back.
[a pause.]
This is the way things are. I can't be angry, not for this. It will burn me up from the inside, and I must do what I can while I still exist to make sure that the people I care for have a chance.
[ He watches her for a moment, the unsettled sensation in his chest cooling off with relief.
With a small smile, ] That's—
[ Which is exactly when a pig falls on his head, sending them both into a memory of a sleepy town in the south of Japan, with much younger versions of Rin and Haru. ]
[PIG HELP okay normally i'd give a memory right back but the idea of giving him one of her memories right after this cute slice of life bit is a lot so
she startles, and when she comes back to her senses she's holding onto the bookshelves.]
... You quit swimming. Why? Haru told me how much you love it. [she doesn't bother stopping herself from asking - that's more important than why am i seeing your memories because this place is so fucking weird that she might! as well! just accept it!]
He steps back slightly, a little pained at the sight of Haru. ]
I was tired of feeling like a failure. [ He's also keenly aware of how stupid his problems sound considering they were just talking about Shenhe's death. ] I had all these hopes and dreams, and they all felt so impossible for me.
It hurt. To work so hard and dedicate my life to something and see it amount to nothing... So I quit.
[she doesn't have any sort of sense for like... which problems are worse, honestly, she thinks that rin quitting swimming is about as bad as her dying. which - kind of? both of those things, in her mind, means that they are away from the things they love.
she wonders if it's changed, since then. they looked young.]
Haru said that you wanted to swim professionally. Like the Olympics, but not stupid. [they talked... a lot, about rin.] Did you start up again? Or have you still quit?
[there's something like... approving, maybe, on her face, when he says that and meets her gaze.]
You should continue to swim. [she says, like she's agreeing.] There is nothing to regret. You are still here. You still exist, in some form, so you can - give it your all.
Before I was erased, Wolfwood told me that there is no point in not experiencing everything that you can. I think you should also follow this advice.
[this is cute and gay and shenhe is distantly amused by it. it's familiar? not with haru, obviously, she's not going to steal rin's man, but. having things to look forward to makes life a little more worth living.]
... Everything. [she says, tilting her head back.] Food, music, people. My life before here was restrained. I thought that it had to be, so I avoided temptations, or things that I would miss too much.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w4, MONDAY
where is rin today, shenhe is kind of just... wandering. this place feels so much bigger than the living side and small all at once.]
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And Rin is at the bookstore! He's just browsing, and has two bodice rippers clutched in his hands.
He starts when he notices her. ]
Shenhe! ... Hi!
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anyway she seems to be in a little bit better of a mood today. she's a bit melancholy but who isn't, in the graveyard. she's wearing this and is lacking her usual red ropes... wow...
she looks at him. she looks at the bodice rippers.]
Hello, Rin. [she is a little amused. it's a little funny, ok] What are you doing?
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He leans casually against the bookshelf, not hiding his hands behind him because he's not stupid enough to do that, but purely to put on the air of someone who is relaxed. He is so casual right now. ]
Just checking out the book store, it wasn't here last week. [ To clarify, ] We get new locations every week too.
[ The mods are working hard...
He gives a look over, expression shifting over to concern. ]
How're you feeling?
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I see. [she tilts her head.] I'm glad. I would've been disappointed if there hadn't been books.
[as for the question, she pauses, and looks at the bookshelves, reaching up to just take one at random.]
Sad. [she says, tracing her fingers over the cover.] I miss my team. But I will survive it. It's a wonder to feel anything at all.
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Setting both books back on the shelf, he gives her a curious look. ]
Was there something stopping you from feeling things before?
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The ropes. [she's not sure if they were doing much while she was here, either, but she no longer has the placebo even if they weren't.]
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He looks confused. ]
Why? Because of all that stuff about being an ill omen?
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Yes. [...] I am violent without them. Or... I'm supposed to be.
[but she hasn't worn them since she woke up here, and like. she feels the same, so...]
I will not hurt anybody here.
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[ ... ]
There's no point, anyway. Killing each other here doesn't earn any points.
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How do you know? [curious...]
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I guess because we can't die... again? [ uhh ]
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[which... speaking of.] How have you been doing?
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he's turned his attention to other books on the shelf, but doesn't bother being anything other than honest when she asks. ]
It feels kind of weird to say, but it hasn't been that bad since Buzen and the others showed up. [ even though it meant they died ] ... But it hasn't stopped me from missing everyone else.
[ he doesn't offer specifics, knowing his team is a touchy topic. but he glances back at her. ]
So... you're not alone. It sucks being here, but at least there's people who know what you're going through.
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it's complicated, and it hurts, and she thinks she won't ever be able to sort it out because there are too many parts of her that don't fit. her friends, who hurt her, who hurt her team, who had reasons, reasons enough to sit and listen.
she exhales slowly.]
Yes. I am not alone. [she reaches to rest her hand on his arm.] I'm not angry with you. I think I should make that clear.
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He doesn't know if they were given an ultimatum, or if they stepped up after seeing their rank. That question too, he keeps to himself.
Instead, he accepts her kindness, putting a hand over hers. ]
... Thanks. I wouldn't blame you if you did.
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[a pause.]
This is the way things are. I can't be angry, not for this. It will burn me up from the inside, and I must do what I can while I still exist to make sure that the people I care for have a chance.
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With a small smile, ] That's—
[ Which is exactly when a pig falls on his head, sending them both into a memory of a sleepy town in the south of Japan, with much younger versions of Rin and Haru. ]
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she startles, and when she comes back to her senses she's holding onto the bookshelves.]
... You quit swimming. Why? Haru told me how much you love it. [she doesn't bother stopping herself from asking - that's more important than why am i seeing your memories because this place is so fucking weird that she might! as well! just accept it!]
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He steps back slightly, a little pained at the sight of Haru. ]
I was tired of feeling like a failure. [ He's also keenly aware of how stupid his problems sound considering they were just talking about Shenhe's death. ] I had all these hopes and dreams, and they all felt so impossible for me.
It hurt. To work so hard and dedicate my life to something and see it amount to nothing... So I quit.
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she wonders if it's changed, since then. they looked young.]
Haru said that you wanted to swim professionally. Like the Olympics, but not stupid. [they talked... a lot, about rin.] Did you start up again? Or have you still quit?
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I started swimming again, when I saw Haru a few years later. But I was on the verge of quitting again before I came here.
[ It's an on-again off-again relationships.
Still, he smiles a little and meets her gaze. ]
But being here [ and reconciling with Haru... ] made me regret not giving it my all, no matter what.
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You should continue to swim. [she says, like she's agreeing.] There is nothing to regret. You are still here. You still exist, in some form, so you can - give it your all.
Before I was erased, Wolfwood told me that there is no point in not experiencing everything that you can. I think you should also follow this advice.
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That is good advice. [ Thanks, Wolfwood. ] I know that I want to swim with Haru again.
... That's not new. But looking forward to it does make experiencing everything else more more exciting.
[ Wow, that's kind of embarrassing. He clears his throat. ]
What was he telling you to experience?
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... Everything. [she says, tilting her head back.] Food, music, people. My life before here was restrained. I thought that it had to be, so I avoided temptations, or things that I would miss too much.
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