allstarz / jacopo

[damp]

Comments

[damp]

[ He's not going to talk about it if Jacopo doesn't?? ]

... It's just weird.

[obdure]

[ I'M SORRY HE JUST HAS REGUALR NORMIE FEARS... SO HE THINKS IT'S LIKE AT A NORMAL LEVEL OF BEING FORGOTTEN and not soul deep like it actually is. ]

... It is weird. [ I WILL THROW YOU A FUCKING BONE ] I've—been seeing a lot of dramatic phrases on me. They feel distant while everyone else has reacted to their own so personally.

[damp]

[ ? ]

Like what?

[obdure]

... "Insurrection." "Duplicity." "The end of atonement."

[ Crosses his arms. ]

Maybe duplicity is fine, but who doesn't mask a bit?

[damp]

...

That really is dramatic. [ Huh. ] What does "end of atonement" mean? Isn't that a good thing?

[obdure]

It should be, shouldn't it? Means you paid your debt and such.

[ Them both agreeing it's ridiculously dramatic. ]

But I wonder if it's more for the other me.

[damp]

You mean the one that Jonas and the others remember? Did you figure out how you might be connected?

[obdure]

The guy... He wanted to start over, apparently.

[ That's it. ]

Apparently, he had it rough, but I still don't quite understand.

[damp]

Oh... they told you about him?

[ It must be weird. ]

[obdure]

I eventually asked, not that it'd stop the sad looks I get.

[ It is weird. ]

[damp]

He had it that bad?

[ GIVING JACOPO SAD LOOKS... ]

Is it uncomfortable? That people knew this other version of you?

[obdure]

Siffrin would look at me sadly once in a while, too. I think sometimes that was just them. They have a couple of holes in their brain.

[ you can't just say that but he does ]

It's weird as you'd expect. They have preconceptions of how I'd think, feel, and act, but... I suppose I lucked out on the fact he wasn't close to most of them.

Few expectations to live up to or let down.

[damp]

[ This is not true of Jonas but Rin does not know this. ]

Holes? [ WHAT ] At least you're not the only one. It must be weird for Alex and Jonas too.

Are you curious about that other version?

[obdure]

[ IT ISN'T TRUE THAT SOMETIMES JONAS GIVES SAD DOG ENERGY? ]

... I think their memory is spotty. Siffrin's.

[ He's quiet about this because he doesn't think it's for him to say. He doesn't know for sure and that's Rin's teammate. ]

No. [ Almost derisive. ] Not at all.

[damp]

[ Just nods and leaves it there. Anyway, he can't relate to this at all so he doesn't have any judgment or opinion on Jacopo's answer. ]

You don't want to be associated with him? Like... making it clear you're two different people?

[obdure]

We are two completely different people. [ Grumbling. ] I can't imagine... Quitting so early.

[ HE HAS NEVER BEEN A QUITTER!!!! ]

[damp]

Quitting? Because he wanted to start over?

[ not this judgment of jacopo v1 ]

[obdure]

Yeah.

[ he really said he didn't want to learn more about the old him, then decided HE WILL JUDGE HIM ANYWAY ]

Wouldn't you agree?

[damp]

[ Looking surprised when Jacopo asks his opinion. ]

I can't say anything when I don't know what he went through.

[obdure]

[ You are nineteen, old enough to be full of gusto. The answer should be obvious. ]

... Life is always worth living. Sure, sometimes it can feel hopeless, you may have absolutely nothing, and you may want to die, but the indisputable truth is that it won't always be that way. There are going to be things you'll start looking forward to, people you'll meet and may want to spend time with—all of it and more will make getting through to the next day worth it.

[ i hope claude somewhere is proud of him ]

[damp]

[ claude doesn't know this guy but he would agree yes ]

Don't you think that's easy for people like us to say? [ Normies. ] There are people who've had to live in pain for so long...

[ He is thinking of Matsui, but he just groans and ruffles his hands through his hair. ]

I agree with you. I don't think anyone should give up. It just feels kind of cruel when I can't imagine what they've been through.

[obdure]

[ claude...... i thought we were friends. GOOD... AGREE WITH HIM. For Rin and himself, he tries to cement it even though he knows they both live "privileged" lives compared to many here. ]

Just because our lives are "normal" doesn't mean our hardships and struggles mean less.

[ Pain is relative. Quietly said more to himself than anything: ]

How horrible of a person can you be... To not have someone who would try and tell you something so simple and basic like this.

[ He said he didn't care to learn about the other him, but maybe it's in part fear. ]

[damp]

[ Rin doesn't know old Jacopo, but he will try to defend him since he is... a type of Jacopo anyway. ]

You don't know that there wasn't anyone. Sometimes people aren't in a place to listen, no matter how hard you try.

[ He also had an emo phase. ]

[obdure]

[ You're allowed to be emo, Rin. You're just a baby and he remembers you are younger. Also considers that what he says is right. He doesn't know that Jacopo's life, he doesn't want to know, yet...

A sigh as he recomposes himself, clear-headed. ]

Sorry, I shouldn't have said any of that. You can forget about it.

[ Reaches out to ruffle his hair. ]

[damp]

[ He can ruffle his hair but Rin will frown about him. Don't dismiss him because he is young. ]

Don't say that. You don't need to watch what you say just because I'm a little younger than you.