[ haru is improving, but not wholly changed. he's better at leaving his phone on, but he won't clear his notifs. essek is a tragedy, he knows and feels it, but selfishly he's still grateful it wasn't rin. he'll hug rin, but still doesn't put any force into it, holding him gently. ]
it's a little easier than last time, in many ways. he's more prepared, knowing what will be asked and demanded of them. planning ways to avoid hurt, steeling himself for the tragedies that they can't dodge. but in terms of anxiety, it's the same—still worrying that one of these days, rin will end up alone, and there'll be nothing he can do about it.
so he holds onto him, too. he is both grateful and guilty that he can loop his arms around rin's back and stay there for at least a day longer. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...I'm okay.
Are you?
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[ Looks at him. ]
... No one else got shot?
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Not in our room, at least.
[ what a crazy thing to have to worry about. anyway, he shifts over and hugs him. i get one week where haru can initiate hugs. ]
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Text me that you're okay next time.
[ haru who is terrible at his phone and would not check anyway ]
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Would you even check your phone?
[ Rests his forehead in Haru's shoulder... He is maybe holding on tightly. ]
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I might.
[ haru is improving, but not wholly changed. he's better at leaving his phone on, but he won't clear his notifs. essek is a tragedy, he knows and feels it, but selfishly he's still grateful it wasn't rin. he'll hug rin, but still doesn't put any force into it, holding him gently. ]
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Promise me more than that, Haru.
[ But he won't give him too hard of a time. He's knows that... He must've been scared. That he doesn't want to wake up to a repeat of last time.
Still holding on tight. Shouldn't it be easier the second time around? ]
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it's a little easier than last time, in many ways. he's more prepared, knowing what will be asked and demanded of them. planning ways to avoid hurt, steeling himself for the tragedies that they can't dodge. but in terms of anxiety, it's the same—still worrying that one of these days, rin will end up alone, and there'll be nothing he can do about it.
so he holds onto him, too. he is both grateful and guilty that he can loop his arms around rin's back and stay there for at least a day longer. ]
...I'll try. Promise.
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he feels terrible that he's relieved it wasn't him, and that it wasn't haru, but there's nothing he can do about that guilt...
so he's just going to keep clinging ]