[ He draws back eventually, expression both soft and aching at hearing Hikari recount his mother's words, grateful that she gave her son strength to rely on, and sad again that he'd lost her.
He tucks his hands into his pockets, glancing off to the side with a furrow to his brow. ]
You're still admirable, Hikari. None of that is easy to keep believing in.
[it's a bittersweet ache for hikari as well, eternally grateful for the love his mother raised him with—the knowledge that if he has any qualities worth praising, it's because of her influence—and the grief that never fully leaves despite the years.
he's quiet for a few moments, and then cautiously, as though still trying to find the words—]
... It is simply what I must do. Everyone has their own struggles; it is all we can do to keep moving forward.
... I guess you don't have much of an option with so much riding on your shoulders.
[ The fate of an entire nation. Rin had crumbled under the expectations of his father's dream, he couldn't imagine the pressure of having to shoulder the hopes of an entire country.
He shakes his head. ]
You couldn't be any more different than your... brother? Why is he so hell bent on destroying everything?
[hikari falls silent again, mulling over his words. what to say, what not to say. he feels guilty for hiding anything from a friend, but there are details that he's always been reluctant to voice.]
... Our nation was built on warfare. For generations, Clan Ku has perpetuated that cycle—the belief that there is glory through bloodshed and sacrifice. Mugen... embodies all the worst qualities of our family, too strongly.
[his mouth presses into a line, before he shakes his head slowly.]
The fact that I don't hold such beliefs is one of the many reasons why he has always hated me. [tightly,] And why, I suppose, he would rather slaughter our own people than have me succeed the throne over him.
[ He really didn't see that coming, but it does give some helpful context to the memory with Rai Mei. It explains too why Hikari felt so strongly about his convictions, being raised in the chokehold of a nation raised on conquest.
He snorts, irritated. ]
Sounds like an asshole. And that's putting it lightly. [ Then- something occurs to him. ] If we get out of here, you'll go back to that war?
Yes. [simply.] He still rules over Ku, and he must be dethroned.
[a pause, and then in a moment of vulnerability, his next words slip out, quiet.]
... Had things been different, I would have no desire to fight him for the throne—I had no ambitions for it, before that night. [his eyes flicker away, before meeting rin's again.] It had always been a matter of course that it would be his. Only hours earlier was it that Father even told me otherwise.
[that he was suddenly naming hikari his successor instead, and even then, hikari had been prepared to reject it if his father didn't insist he think on it. and then, well, mugen FUCKIN KILLED EVERYONE and hikari had to go "nvm not you after all."]
But perhaps that was my complacency, as merely dreaming of peace does not make it happen. And so if we manage to return, then I will do what it takes to become king and sever Ku's cycle of war, once and for all.
[ mugen forcing hikari to be king by being the worst.
Somehow, that does surprise him though. Hikari seems so driven that Rin assumed he'd always wanted to be king to build the kind of world he wanted to see. ]
... I kind of hope it'll be easy for you when you return, but I get the feeling that won't be the case. [ It feels kind of bad to know your friend is going back to an environment so dangerous. ] But you'd be a good king.
hikari doesn't confirm rin's suspicions that it won't be easy. frankly, the path ahead is frightening even for hikari—not only because of mugen, but because of one more obstacle that he knows awaits him, even if it's one more thing he does not wish to put to words said out loud.]
... I'm honoured you think so. [at the last comment, he manages a faint smile.] If I don't give the impression of being a king, I will take that as a good thing. I would rather be a friend to the people first, and their ruler second.
[ NOOO what is going to happen to our Hikari... Save him. ]
You could have a kingly aura, but then you let Rang bully you so it dissipates a little bit. [ He gently pats Hikari's back. ] You're going to need everything in arsenal. Let's go to swim practice.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He tucks his hands into his pockets, glancing off to the side with a furrow to his brow. ]
You're still admirable, Hikari. None of that is easy to keep believing in.
[ Glances back at him. ]
Don't you ever get tired?
no subject
he's quiet for a few moments, and then cautiously, as though still trying to find the words—]
... It is simply what I must do. Everyone has their own struggles; it is all we can do to keep moving forward.
no subject
[ The fate of an entire nation. Rin had crumbled under the expectations of his father's dream, he couldn't imagine the pressure of having to shoulder the hopes of an entire country.
He shakes his head. ]
You couldn't be any more different than your... brother? Why is he so hell bent on destroying everything?
no subject
... Our nation was built on warfare. For generations, Clan Ku has perpetuated that cycle—the belief that there is glory through bloodshed and sacrifice. Mugen... embodies all the worst qualities of our family, too strongly.
[his mouth presses into a line, before he shakes his head slowly.]
The fact that I don't hold such beliefs is one of the many reasons why he has always hated me. [tightly,] And why, I suppose, he would rather slaughter our own people than have me succeed the throne over him.
no subject
He snorts, irritated. ]
Sounds like an asshole. And that's putting it lightly. [ Then- something occurs to him. ] If we get out of here, you'll go back to that war?
no subject
[a pause, and then in a moment of vulnerability, his next words slip out, quiet.]
... Had things been different, I would have no desire to fight him for the throne—I had no ambitions for it, before that night. [his eyes flicker away, before meeting rin's again.] It had always been a matter of course that it would be his. Only hours earlier was it that Father even told me otherwise.
[that he was suddenly naming hikari his successor instead, and even then, hikari had been prepared to reject it if his father didn't insist he think on it. and then, well, mugen FUCKIN KILLED EVERYONE and hikari had to go "nvm not you after all."]
But perhaps that was my complacency, as merely dreaming of peace does not make it happen. And so if we manage to return, then I will do what it takes to become king and sever Ku's cycle of war, once and for all.
no subject
Somehow, that does surprise him though. Hikari seems so driven that Rin assumed he'd always wanted to be king to build the kind of world he wanted to see. ]
... I kind of hope it'll be easy for you when you return, but I get the feeling that won't be the case. [ It feels kind of bad to know your friend is going back to an environment so dangerous. ] But you'd be a good king.
It's kind of crazy to think about.
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hikari doesn't confirm rin's suspicions that it won't be easy. frankly, the path ahead is frightening even for hikari—not only because of mugen, but because of one more obstacle that he knows awaits him, even if it's one more thing he does not wish to put to words said out loud.]
... I'm honoured you think so. [at the last comment, he manages a faint smile.] If I don't give the impression of being a king, I will take that as a good thing. I would rather be a friend to the people first, and their ruler second.
no subject
You could have a kingly aura, but then you let Rang bully you so it dissipates a little bit. [ He gently pats Hikari's back. ] You're going to need everything in arsenal. Let's go to swim practice.
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[HELLO?
but he will slowly nod to swim practice.]