[even though he knows rin means right now, for this night, that they won't. he lets the words go anyway. maybe all of his usual barriers have been ground into dust, the nightmares and hallucinations both]
You reunited with me, didn't you? [ And okay, maybe it was just a week. ] And... maybe not always. But here it does. Here it meant linking your existences together, and even if that doesn't apply anymore, the significance of it still means something.
They really cherish you, you know. [ Awkwardly, ] And you even made me come around to liking you. A little.
[Rang looks at Rin, blinking slowly -- exhaustion hooked in him, as if at any moment a single tug will send him tumbling. But the words are enough to wake him, surprise him in a way that they center him in this moment.]
...That's good. If you said 'a lot' then I would have accused you of lying.
[...]
I hated you for dying. A part of me wouldn't have minded if you killed D that night instead. I thought it was because of that effect, but the following week... I still missed you. I wish I didn't get erased like that, but I don't hate that I woke up here. And I don't hate you anymore.
[ Rin takes in Rang's words, eyes the slightest bit wider as if taken by surprise. Which he is.
Wow, maybe he's tearing up a little. But it's fine, he just wipes his eyes and it never happened. ]
Idiot. I never hated you either— you tried to save my life the first time we met, remember? You didn't even know me. [ His dud grenade... memories.
He grits his teeth, so frustrated that he can't do anything to help. Something to take Rang's exhaustion and pain away. So he just tilts forward and presses his forehead against his shoulder. ]
So take care of yourself. [ ... ] If you want to stay up, I'll watch Love Possibly again with you.
...he prefers the rin who looks frustrated and almost about to cry, than the rins he saw before -- the happy ones, the hallucinations. the rins who hung out with his family and lived normally, who smiled when rang put his hands around his throat.
this rin is real, right? he's seen so many hallucinations that he doubts it almost. until rin comes forward and presses his head against his shoulder, contact. he lifts up a hand and pats rin on the head,]
...You must really like that movie.
[a romcom for rin! he knows what rin means, but he has to say it like that because it's embarrassing.]
[ Unlike Rang, Rin is pretty tired and he takes a moment to rest there and gather his energy before straightening up again, glancing off to the side as if annoyed. ]
Maybe I just enjoy watching you suffer through romance.
[ But also, he feels kind of bad for saying that. ]
I'll get you some ice cream on the way. Sugar will keep you awake too.
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Thanks but... It's a little late for coffee. [ Frowns at Rang. ] You're going to avoid sleeping another night?
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Buzen and Matsui offered, so... We'll see. I don't know if I'll stay with them the entire night.
[holds out the water for rin]
Here.
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Thanks. [ takes a sip ] You should just stay with them, they probably know how to handle nightmares.
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...I know. It's just annoying to have to rely on them again.
[he feels Guilty... but before he can go down the cyoa rabbithole --]
Haru and Ylfa sent me messages thinking I was you. It's probably because of our baby names.
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he looks down ]
Oh. I haven't been writing to them much. [ anyway, ] But Buzen and Matsui-san are too reliable in some ways, yeah. I feel bad about it a lot too.
But it'll probably help you.
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You should worry about yourself more. [frowning at him] Why aren't you writing to them? Is it because I made you roleplay?
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Everyone worries about me all the time. [ he's not unaware of that ] You're the one who hasn't slept in two days.
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[rang lied, like a liar. he shrugs,]
I feel more awake the longer I listen to you.
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[hee hee (tired)]
I don't want to. I keep having nightmares.
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... You can't avoid sleep forever. Even if you have nightmares, if there's someone with you when you wake up, they can help you.
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What if I wake up and they're not there?
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[ wow sudden softness toward Rang ]
And you'll reunite soon enough even if you separate.
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...I've never reunited with anyone who's left me.
[even though he knows rin means right now, for this night, that they won't. he lets the words go anyway. maybe all of his usual barriers have been ground into dust, the nightmares and hallucinations both]
Does being on a team mean that much?
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Rin furrows his brows at him. ]
You reunited with me, didn't you? [ And okay, maybe it was just a week. ] And... maybe not always. But here it does. Here it meant linking your existences together, and even if that doesn't apply anymore, the significance of it still means something.
They really cherish you, you know. [ Awkwardly, ] And you even made me come around to liking you. A little.
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...That's good. If you said 'a lot' then I would have accused you of lying.
[...]
I hated you for dying. A part of me wouldn't have minded if you killed D that night instead. I thought it was because of that effect, but the following week... I still missed you. I wish I didn't get erased like that, but I don't hate that I woke up here. And I don't hate you anymore.
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Wow, maybe he's tearing up a little. But it's fine, he just wipes his eyes and it never happened. ]
Idiot. I never hated you either— you tried to save my life the first time we met, remember? You didn't even know me. [ His dud grenade... memories.
He grits his teeth, so frustrated that he can't do anything to help. Something to take Rang's exhaustion and pain away. So he just tilts forward and presses his forehead against his shoulder. ]
So take care of yourself. [ ... ] If you want to stay up, I'll watch Love Possibly again with you.
no subject
...he prefers the rin who looks frustrated and almost about to cry, than the rins he saw before -- the happy ones, the hallucinations. the rins who hung out with his family and lived normally, who smiled when rang put his hands around his throat.
this rin is real, right? he's seen so many hallucinations that he doubts it almost. until rin comes forward and presses his head against his shoulder, contact. he lifts up a hand and pats rin on the head,]
...You must really like that movie.
[a romcom for rin! he knows what rin means, but he has to say it like that because it's embarrassing.]
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Maybe I just enjoy watching you suffer through romance.
[ But also, he feels kind of bad for saying that. ]
I'll get you some ice cream on the way. Sugar will keep you awake too.