[that's such a nice thing to say. she frowns a little.]
You were supposed to last longer. I was going to protect you guys. Since this competition was never really going to be very much about swimming. I just didn't really...figure out how to do it in time. Or ever, really. Since you and Haru also weren't supposed to have to help with that part.
I hate that Haru had to do all those things, and had to go through all that.
[ he glances up at the sky, a frown on his face ]
But it's better than you doing it alone. Just because you can, or just because Gerard can... You didn't want to ally with a team because they'd coddle us for being children, so you get it, right?
...Yeah. I don't think I was right, to think about you guys that way. I mean. All of these crazy things only started happening to me like...a couple months ago. Before that, I was pretty normal! [no she was always weird but like, haru weird, not murder weird.]
Sometimes you just change and I guess it's both horrible and also fine. [...] But you have to tell Haru that, too. You have to tell him the way he is now is okay, even if he doesn't say anything nice first.
Well... I think that's because I'm younger than he is. And even though we're friends, he thinks of me in a different way than he thinks of you. [she doesn't even mean a gay way she is unaware of anything like that, just.] Your opinion of him really matters to him, so he's more defensive.
Because he cared so much that you died, and you obviously cared so much about what happened here to him, but you both always pretend you don't!
Why did we go through seven weeks of this where you got in a fight about college and then died and then you came back just so you could get mad at each other over whether you wore a maid's outfit!
[it's really not her job to fix it, nor can she. it's just a little sad. maybe she pictured this really sweet reunion of all of them and nothing about any of this is quite like that.]
[she almost cursed haru to be a clown she was so mad at him for spoiling it. but...]
Yeah. But it's more that I like both of you so much. You're both so thoughtful and nice to me. So it doesn't seem like it should be that hard even though it is.
[ ugh, this is so embarrassing but ylfa is being honest so. ]
When we were younger, I really admired Haru and wanted to swim with him, but he brushed me off constantly. It didn't matter because I was a kid back then, but.
... I guess I'm just scared I'll get brushed off again.
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I wish I'd gotten more time, I guess. And I was around when you needed help.
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[that's such a nice thing to say. she frowns a little.]
You were supposed to last longer. I was going to protect you guys. Since this competition was never really going to be very much about swimming. I just didn't really...figure out how to do it in time. Or ever, really. Since you and Haru also weren't supposed to have to help with that part.
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[ he glances up at the sky, a frown on his face ]
But it's better than you doing it alone. Just because you can, or just because Gerard can... You didn't want to ally with a team because they'd coddle us for being children, so you get it, right?
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Sometimes you just change and I guess it's both horrible and also fine. [...] But you have to tell Haru that, too. You have to tell him the way he is now is okay, even if he doesn't say anything nice first.
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Haru's terrible at listening to people. I'm glad you're trying to look after him. [ ... ] Does he talk to you, at least?
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[ like when they fought about college :( ]
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[ he looks so bewildered ]
You sure about that?
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What? Why're you so worked up?
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Because he cared so much that you died, and you obviously cared so much about what happened here to him, but you both always pretend you don't!
Why did we go through seven weeks of this where you got in a fight about college and then died and then you came back just so you could get mad at each other over whether you wore a maid's outfit!
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he does look somewhat admonished. ]
I... I don't know. I mean, we didn't really speak for five years before we came here. All we do is fight. [ glances away ] ... But I'll talk to him.
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[she knew that, anyway.]
I'm not trying to yell at you. But it feels so unfair, somehow.
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I don't even know how I'd react if he was open. [ ... ] But I do wish he was more honest.
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[it's really not her job to fix it, nor can she. it's just a little sad. maybe she pictured this really sweet reunion of all of them and nothing about any of this is quite like that.]
I know you don't hate each other...
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he glances away ]
Sometimes we can be stupid.
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Yeah. But it's more that I like both of you so much. You're both so thoughtful and nice to me. So it doesn't seem like it should be that hard even though it is.
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When we were younger, I really admired Haru and wanted to swim with him, but he brushed me off constantly. It didn't matter because I was a kid back then, but.
... I guess I'm just scared I'll get brushed off again.
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That makes sense. I'm always really worried people aren't going to like me, and it's worse if it's someone I'd really like to be friends with.
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Do you think it's immature?
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[but she's 12 so what does she know about it.]
I think it makes sense to want Haru to like you and to worry about getting brushed off. But he does like you, so...