allstarz / maya

[damp]

Comments

[damp]

[ Volume increasing, ] Then what? How am I supposed to feel? I'm the one—

I choked him until he was gone. It happened right in front of me. Who's going to take the punishment for that?

[feytality]

[ while his volume increases, her stays steady and quiet ]

There's no guide to how you're supposed to feel. Angry, sad, guilty, all of it is valid. You were used. You were used.

.... Would you feel better if you were punished? [ would it bring shen back to this side? ]

[damp]

I don't.

[ Oof. ]

Maybe? It's just... It's not right. If no one is.

[feytality]

[ see, this is exactly why she brought up killing manwol. because she was in the same state, being burned by everyone's kind words and forgiveness. feeling how wrong it was that no one was angry at her. ]

.... I know. It doesn't feel right.

But the truth is, no one's really going to get mad at you. Because they know you were used, and you never would have hurt anyone if you had the choice.

[damp]

[ Then... what? What does he do? How does he fix this? How does he move forward believing that he'll never let it happen again when he has no control?

Is it better to just become numb to it? ]

What did you do? After Manwol?

[feytality]

She forgave me... but the truth is, I never really forgave myself. But I had to keep going. And so do you.

[ gives him a sympathetic look ]

It gets a little easier, with time. And knowing it's not just you this happened to.