[ Rin really did pick the funniest person to unload this on.
His head does jerk to look at Buzen as soon as it occurs to him just who exactly he's talking to, guilt and a fresh wave of frustration. ]
That's not— You're... [ He and Buzen aren't even remotely on the same level. Even the best warriors can run into unlucky circumstances (he thinks, he has no idea), but Rin was never going to make it.
It's okay, if you want to keep saying illogical things. Get them all out before they eat you up on the inside.
... but I'm also gonna push back when I think you're not being fair to yourself, because what if you start believing some of it? I can't let that happen. That's all I mean.
[don't worry rin, have you seen matsui? buzen is more than used to being the most patient person in the room.
which is to say that he's not bothered or surprised - it's not like you can just tell the aches and pains of the heart to go away.
but he will reposition himself, kneeling for better balance so he can just go ahead and wrap both of his arms around rin's shoulders to pull him into a hug]
... and it's not over yet. I'm not going to pretend to know how Haru-san's feeling. I can't.
But you can still help him, because you're still here. He might not know it yet, but he will eventually.
[ Rin's stupid teenage pride means that it's very embarrassing for him to be held like this while he's like this, but the loneliness he feels in this moment overpowers everything else.
He drops his forehead onto Buzen's shoulder, knees hitting the ground so that he's also kneeling, while his face screws up as he tries to keep his voice from wavering again.
Like this, beyond the right and wrong of erasing other players, and the trauma of watching people suffer, he can just admit, ]
[there is nothing about this situation that's fair or right, and there's probably no words that buzen can offer up that'd ease any words. so instead he pulls rin that much closer, enveloping him in this embrace like it can help anything at all. and he can only say the one thing that he knows to be true:]
They miss you too.
[and maybe that's the cause of all this pain, but it's also this incredibly strong source of love that buzen doesn't think would be all that fair to look away from.]
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no subject
His head does jerk to look at Buzen as soon as it occurs to him just who exactly he's talking to, guilt and a fresh wave of frustration. ]
That's not— You're... [ He and Buzen aren't even remotely on the same level. Even the best warriors can run into unlucky circumstances (he thinks, he has no idea), but Rin was never going to make it.
He looks back down. ]
... I know it's not logical.
no subject
[he squeezes rin's shoulder]
It's okay, if you want to keep saying illogical things. Get them all out before they eat you up on the inside.
... but I'm also gonna push back when I think you're not being fair to yourself, because what if you start believing some of it? I can't let that happen. That's all I mean.
no subject
He wishes he could repay the kindness by pulling himself out of this, instead of continuing to wallow in self-pity.
He squeezes his eyes shut. ]
It's just hard to know that he was suffering, and I couldn't help him.
He's helped me in so many ways, and I...
no subject
which is to say that he's not bothered or surprised - it's not like you can just tell the aches and pains of the heart to go away.
but he will reposition himself, kneeling for better balance so he can just go ahead and wrap both of his arms around rin's shoulders to pull him into a hug]
... and it's not over yet. I'm not going to pretend to know how Haru-san's feeling. I can't.
But you can still help him, because you're still here. He might not know it yet, but he will eventually.
no subject
He drops his forehead onto Buzen's shoulder, knees hitting the ground so that he's also kneeling, while his face screws up as he tries to keep his voice from wavering again.
Like this, beyond the right and wrong of erasing other players, and the trauma of watching people suffer, he can just admit, ]
I miss my friends.
no subject
They miss you too.
[and maybe that's the cause of all this pain, but it's also this incredibly strong source of love that buzen doesn't think would be all that fair to look away from.]