[ yeah actually it's haru who disengages a bit, suddenly aware of himself when rin's thought wakes him up; he draws his hand back abruptly, crossing his arms so he isn't tempted to poke rin's tail (leg) anymore. usually he's so reserved with his touch, it's odd how much this place affects him. ]
...Sorry. [ rin probably thought that was weird. haru's weird. ] The games aren't bad. But you guys must've played a lot of them. [ Why did Shenhe say that. ]
[ Rin realises pretty much immediately that Haru must've heard his thought, and quickly course corrects by grabbing Haru's hand and settling it back on his thigh.
It's nice, and the vibes are flustered and embarrassed, but deeply pleased.
Until he realises what he's doing and pulls his hand away. ]
It doesn't bug me. [ He snorts a little. ] You're still thinking about that?
[ just to be clear! there is no amount of simon pining here! especially because, as usual, rin's feelings occupy his full brain capacity.
though these ones... are confusing. rin is always kind of confusing, lonely even when people are there to accept him. there is no world in which haru would reject his company.
his emotions are fond too, loving, if penned in by caution. rin is a delicate maiden and not to be overwhelmed. still... he complains a little, tapping his thigh in toothless agitation. ]
...You don't get to decide what I'm interested in or not.
haru lifts his head enough to stare at him. LOOKING AT RIN LIKE HE HAS SPIDERS FOR BRAINS. ]
I said I wouldn't...! [ he has never really given this any thought but he is forced to acknowledge that he would specifically not sleep with simon ] Whatever. He's probably who you kissed.
[ they're basically married. there is another rumble of irritation on his end, like rin should simply understand why it gets under his skin, because haru doesn't. he does not know what about this bothers him.
he keeps his head firmly on rin's shoulder. the repetitive circles he draws on his tail (thigh) stops so he can tap his finger. ]
It just does.
[ IT JUST DOES!!!!!! he is going to be rude to buzen. he should've saved their psych to turn him into a clown. ]
[ there are multiple reasons that rin feels like he's going to die right now, mostly because he can tell that haru is irritated but doesn't understand why. he assumes that it's because he doesn't care to talk about topics like love and dating for as long as they have, but haru's never been shy about shutting down conversations he's not interested in.
maybe he's trying, for rin, and irritated that rin can't tell he wants to move on.
[ he is trying. this is such a weird topic for his tiny squid brain to handle. he just wants to enclose himself in a crevice between some rocks beneath the sea and eat plankton.
sufficed to say, he is also confused. ]
...Rang was obsessed with you. He would've kissed you.
[ this is not true he is just being crazy. all rang did was hug and contemplate murder. ]
[ the suggestion alone is making him very uncomfortable. because he obviously doesn't think about rang like that, and he doesn't want haru thinking about it either.
he shifts, stomach tight, so that he can look at haru's expression, a weird tension in his shoulders that wouldn't have made it comfortable for haru to keep resting there. ]
First of all, that's crazy. Second of all, why would that bug you anyway? You and Rang got along in the end.
[ do you think it would distract from swimming?? ]
[ he looks slightly put out at having lost his perch, and also having to have a real face-to-face conversation about something this embarrassing. he's never had this many heart-to-hearts with rin before. if this even qualifies. it feels a little too stupid to count as a heartfelt conversation. ]
I don't hate Rang. [ this is an understatment, he likes rang a lot. that doesn't change things. he has nothing against guifei either but he's still annoyed. possibly because it's not about either of them? ] It's still weird when he hugs you.
[ this happened in w1 ]
...Because of swimming. [ ????for once in his life he has no idea how this relates to swimming??? ]
[ his emotions answer first, oddly nervous, lacking the wealth of confidence he has when it comes to other things he cares about, like swimming.
after a second, he just puts his head back down, winding his arms around rin's torso thoughtlessly. because he won't have an excuse to later, and because rin said he didn't mind. ]
[ Haru presses close again, and Rin feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest. There's a distinct sense of longing in the emotions he puts out, something he tries to temper because- this is good. This is the friendship he's been missing for the past five years.
This is more than he'd ever imagined getting from Haru, and he doesn't want him to feel nervous about Rin leaving swimming for any reason again.
He winds his arms around Haru in return, holding him close. ]
You don't have to worry. Nothing's going to distract me. [ He can't believe he has to say this. ] Even if I had the cutest girlfriend in the world.
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...Sorry. [ rin probably thought that was weird. haru's weird. ] The games aren't bad. But you guys must've played a lot of them. [ Why did Shenhe say that. ]
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It's nice, and the vibes are flustered and embarrassed, but deeply pleased.
Until he realises what he's doing and pulls his hand away. ]
It doesn't bug me. [ He snorts a little. ] You're still thinking about that?
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so long as rin doesn't mind... there's no harm. puzzlingly, haru thinks it's nice too. even though he is making a face. ]
...It lives in my head now. [ he is cursed with this information. ] I want to be better to Simon. I'd still never—you know.
[ 6_9 ]
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Haru, gross. You don't need to want to sleep with Simon to be nice to him.
[ He makes a face, the hand on Haru's back curling into the fabric of his shirt. You're not interested in any of that even with people you do like.
Weird... murky feelings of fondness and loneliness. ]
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I wouldn't.
[ just to be clear! there is no amount of simon pining here! especially because, as usual, rin's feelings occupy his full brain capacity.
though these ones... are confusing. rin is always kind of confusing, lonely even when people are there to accept him. there is no world in which haru would reject his company.
his emotions are fond too, loving, if penned in by caution. rin is a delicate maiden and not to be overwhelmed. still... he complains a little, tapping his thigh in toothless agitation. ]
...You don't get to decide what I'm interested in or not.
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Do you do want to sleep with Simon?
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haru lifts his head enough to stare at him. LOOKING AT RIN LIKE HE HAS SPIDERS FOR BRAINS. ]
I said I wouldn't...! [ he has never really given this any thought but he is forced to acknowledge that he would specifically not sleep with simon ] Whatever. He's probably who you kissed.
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Don't.
[ he glances at haru, his nerves broadcasting in the air around them. ]
Are you curious?
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...No. [ Sort of. it irritates him to think about. ]
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he flicks the hair by his ear. ]
It's not that big a deal. They were just trying to be nice to me.
[ It wasn't romantic. ]
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Do people do that to be nice...?
[ they really could just like him and rin is too stupid to notice... ]
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Just, y'know. Having fun.
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[ he likes buzen a lot but it's annoying. ]
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[ anyway, he's EMBARRASSED about it and he's never going to tell haru the reason why it had come up. why is my situation the same as monika's? ]
Why does it bug you? Are you tired of hearing everyone obsess over this stuff?
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he keeps his head firmly on rin's shoulder. the repetitive circles he draws on his tail (thigh) stops so he can tap his finger. ]
It just does.
[ IT JUST DOES!!!!!! he is going to be rude to buzen. he should've saved their psych to turn him into a clown. ]
It was weird when Rang did it too.
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maybe he's trying, for rin, and irritated that rin can't tell he wants to move on.
whatever it is, he just looks confused. ]
I never kissed Rang.
[ also gross. ]
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sufficed to say, he is also confused. ]
...Rang was obsessed with you. He would've kissed you.
[ this is not true he is just being crazy. all rang did was hug and contemplate murder. ]
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he shifts, stomach tight, so that he can look at haru's expression, a weird tension in his shoulders that wouldn't have made it comfortable for haru to keep resting there. ]
First of all, that's crazy. Second of all, why would that bug you anyway? You and Rang got along in the end.
[ do you think it would distract from swimming?? ]
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I don't hate Rang. [ this is an understatment, he likes rang a lot. that doesn't change things. he has nothing against guifei either but he's still annoyed. possibly because it's not about either of them? ] It's still weird when he hugs you.
[ this happened in w1 ]
...Because of swimming. [ ????for once in his life he has no idea how this relates to swimming??? ]
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Are you worried... that I'll spend less time swimming if I date someone...?
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after a second, he just puts his head back down, winding his arms around rin's torso thoughtlessly. because he won't have an excuse to later, and because rin said he didn't mind. ]
...Yeah. I'd be worried if you did.
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This is more than he'd ever imagined getting from Haru, and he doesn't want him to feel nervous about Rin leaving swimming for any reason again.
He winds his arms around Haru in return, holding him close. ]
You don't have to worry. Nothing's going to distract me. [ He can't believe he has to say this. ] Even if I had the cutest girlfriend in the world.