homo: haru

[damp]

itp: gay

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[squirt]

[ sometimes you take the opportunity to feel your rival up. thanks for the assist, hikari?

he'd probably let go by now on a normal day, but he's stubbornly clinging as well. ]

I'm fine. I could heal myself, if anything happened. You're the one who... [ would have been screwed if he got attacked? because could rin even really fight back, powers or no? he just trails off because thinking about it feels terrible. ]

[damp]

[ They're not usually this physical, and if Rin was even remotely close to thinking clearly, he'd acknowledge how strange it is, but he's not. He doesn't care. Right now it feels like Haru is all that he has, and he wants to keep him close.

But he's still disarmed by the concern, unsure of how to respond because he wants to reassure him but. His fears are valid.

Neither of them stand much of a chance. ]

Next time... Make sure that you stay with me.

[squirt]

[ he hadn't been so starkly aware of how much they don't belong here until now, afraid for the first time in his life that someone close to him was dead. can they at least get through this together? it's the only chance they have. ]

...I'll be there.

[ he frames it like he'll stay for rin's sake, but he doesn't want to be alone either. ]

Next time—I'll protect you however I can, Rin.

[damp]

[ This is the first time that he's ever heard Haru talk like this—still remembering him as the solitary boy who'd had to be coaxed into swimming the relay. They'd been close before Rin had left for Australia, but Haru was still independent, difficult to read for someone as clumsy as Rin.

But he's never felt... precious like this. Or important.

He leans back on his heels, finally letting go of Haru's shirt so that he can wipe away the new tears coming to his eyes. ]

I'm the one who should protect you. I have the offensive skill.

[squirt]

[ it's unsettling to be talking in terms like this: protecting one another, fighting off dangers. it doesn't feel real when he says the words aloud, but he still means it. he'll do everything he can to make sure they make it through this—rin, and ylfa, and gerard.

haru hangs loosely onto rin's sleeves so he can move, at least. ]

I could use it better.

[ it's just habit to make everything a competition, but there's nothing needling in his tone. he's apparently worked through the worst of his (1) allotted emotion for the day. ]

...Can we go inside? I'm tired.

[damp]

[ Rin definitely fixes him with an annoyed look, mostly out of instinct, ] As if.

[ But he sighs, tired from the day (it's barely noon). ]

... Yeah. I slept terribly last night. Where were you anyway?

[ His head hurts from crying... But anyway, he heads inside. ]

[squirt]

[ honestly, he's tempted to sleep the entire day. he doesn't want to "investigate" or speculate. he just wants to go to bed and then it's monday.

but first, he just follows into the warehouse. ]

Pool.

[ obviously ]

Where were you? Were you alone?

[damp]

[ Yeah, Rin just collapses on his pile of bedding, curling up.

Realises he shouldn't be surprised Haru was at the pool. ]

I was in McDonald's. Hikari was there too with his entire team.

[squirt]

...Oh. [ normally, he'd get in one of the sleeping bags, but he just lays out on the other side of the lumpy pillows and blankets. don't freak out rin, touch week allows for them to be within 5' apart and not gay. ] You've spoken to him before?

[damp]

[ he's not going to freak out? in fact he will take haru's hand? ]

Yeah, a couple times. He reminded me of a manga protagonist. No family... A life of hardship, but devoted and strengthened by his friends.

[squirt]

[ rin 'i'm gonna cry about sharing one bed platonically' matsuoka isn't freaking out? good job rin

he holds his hand and then smiles. not happily, but in like, shock. ]

...That doesn't even sound real.

[damp]

[ he looks over at haru, brows raised ]

Yeah, but nothing sounds real around here.

[squirt]

[ he's just sighs in agreement, dissolving into a pile of mush. being horizontal only makes him very aware of how tense he's been since he woke up, muscles aching. ]

If only this were all a play. Or an anime.

[damp]

...

[ shifts a little closer to haru ]

Tch, even if it were I wouldn't want to be in it. I'm happy with our boring school lives.

[squirt]

...That's all I want.

[ there isn't even much they need to attend to. their last, boring year of high school. odd iwatobi festival traditions. being late to practice. but all he wants is to go back to worrying about college, and how to shave time off his laps, and summer swim competitions. he grips rin's hand with sudden, urgent tightness. ]

Rin. I'm glad it wasn't you. [ is that a terrible thing to say? it probably is, but he's okay with that right now. ]

[damp]

... Haru.

[ His eyes shine again, warm from Haru's words. Among everything else, this also feels unreal. How deep his envy and longing was just a week ago, convinced that he had to throw Haru away if he wanted to succeed as a swimmer.

It was so stupid. How lost would he be without him? How much more afraid? ]

I'm glad it wasn't you too. I don't... [ He grips his hand tight in return. ] I need you to stay with me.

[squirt]

[ rin has always been demanding, and when they'd first met, it'd annoyed him to death. maybe being ambitious came with being pushy, and explosive in emotion.

but that's what it took to enter haru's orbit, stubborn and isolated and set in his path as he was. and now that rin's here again—his heart warms a little. what's happening is scary, but at least they can face it together. he thinks to say, yeah, i need you here, too.

what actually comes out: ]

...Okay.

[ he squirms in closer to steal some of the blankets, and rests his head against rin's shoulder in the process. ]

I wasn't going anywhere.

[damp]

[ The reassurance helps, even if he has a hard time believing it. This is so beyond what either of them have ever experienced or dealt with before, Rin can very keenly the lack of control they have over the situation.

But Haru stays close, for now, and that's all he could ask for.

He shifts closer to Haru too, while still holding onto his hand, too exhausted to even be embarrassed by the proximity. ]

Good. [ Grumbles. ] Text me more often too. Makoto's not here to manage your correspondence.

[squirt]

[ his gut response is to argue, because texting is a pain and he shouldn't have to just acquiesce to all of rin's demands, but also someone just died and so he, perhaps, sees that this is a reasonable request.

it is a little weird that "because someone just died" is a thing they need to get used to. ]

I don't need Makoto to do it.

[ yes, he does. he doesn't move from where he's settled. ]

Are you scared when I don't?

[damp]

[ Yes, he does. Rin actually wonders how Haru is going to manage without Makoto... Should he step up and taken on Makoto's responsibilities? Psychically intuiting Haru's feelings and helping him get out of the pool?

Pushing those thoughts away, grumbling slightly. ]

Is that surprising? There's plenty to be freaked out around here.

[squirt]

[ he doesn't need rin to be a makoto stand-in. rin is rin. for better or worse, he wants rin to be unabashedly himself.

even if he is annoying sometimes. ]

We sleep in the same house. You'll see me everyday.

[ it's kind of an argument—he doesn't need to text when they live together, does he?—but beneath that, a reassurance. ]

[damp]

[ haru is so annoying.

but rin just snorts. ]

When you put it like that, I should be more worried about getting tired of you.

[squirt]

[ maybe they're both annoying.

he raises his head just enough to bonk rin's shoulder in retaliation, hair mussled up against his forehead when he stays there. ]

You just said you need me here.

[damp]

[ they are.

he is bonked, and it just makes him grin at the ceiling. ]

Yeah, but then you raised a good point.

[squirt]

[ he should just scoff, but the weight of death is still around, and he goes silent for a second instead, a quiet that stretches too long and too awkwardly because he's not good at talking.

he doesn't know how to ask rin not to leave. that's always been the problem. all he can promise is that he'll stay and hope rin does the same. he grumbles, ]

Don't joke.